Uncle Sam (1996)

I remember the VHS box to Uncle Sam in the video store because it had a cool cover with a holographic pic on it. Anyway, the last half of this is B-horror at its best, a little gory and pretty funny. The first half you will want to spend drinking at least three beers, because when it hits the halfway point you will want to be ready to get silly.

The plot, what there is of it, is that Sam was killed in the Middle East, his body is shipped home, and before they get him planted, his nasty corpse comes to life to kill unpatriotic people during the 4th of July celebration. It's unique because it's both a zombie movie and a slasher; the zombie uses weapons and doesn't eat his victims. We get no explanation for how he reanimates, but that's most zombie films. If I had to guess, I'd say burning the flag over his open grave was what did it. So don't try that the next time you're partying in the cemetery on July 3rd. I would say it's a ripoff of Deathdream, but that might be assigning too much credit to the filmmakers.

Still, there's a lot to like here. As I said, the action gets going at the midpoint with a guy dressed in an Uncle Sam suit using seven foot tall stilts to peep in an upstairs window at a girl getting out of the shower in the movie's only nude scene; when he is busted and trying to make a getaway on those big old stilts I about giggled my ass off. So our zombie kills the perv and steals his costume.

Once we get to the picnic there's a lot of death: a decap, a face in the hot grill, a spearing, an explosion. Lots of broad satirical type humor among the partygoers, including Robert Forster as an evil congressman and P.J. Soles, dressed as a red hat lady and playing the angry mom of a kid who had a firework accident the year before. There's unintentional humor too, like Sam's nephew crawling away from the burning walking corpse of his uncle by taking one step and looking back, taking another and looking back, etc. Also, nobody seems interested in finding the killer. The only people the movie doesn't want you to hate are the two kids and Isaac Hayes, but you will hate the nephew anyway, as he is a sanctimonious little bastard.

The movie is a who's who of B-movies with appearances by Bo Hopkins as a lecherous military man who takes funeral duty to "console" widows, Timothy Bottoms as a former draft dodger, Tom McFadden as Soles's husband, Isaac Hayes as the one-legged WWII vet who encouraged Sam to go in the military in the first place, and of course David Shark Fralick as Sam.

One question: why do horror films always have to include a big celebration at which everyone gets killed? Is it convenient for the writer to get all the characters together in one place, or is it to show you how pissed off the killer is because he waits to start killing until he can really ruin the party?

Written by Larry Cohen and directed by William Lustig, Uncle Sam is a requirement for B-horror fans. I recommend only watching the second half, but if you're with friends watch the first half to riff on it while imbibing. Also, to you remake-happy fucks out in Hollywood, this one could fulfill some of your mental wanking needs. Update it so it's a vet of the Afghanistan asshattery of today and kill off more than just one politician.